2016 Week 20 – Angry of feeling guilty

Today I feel angry of feeling guilty …

Why do I feel guilty ? I missed 2 weeks of writing my blog posts.I haven’t followed the blogs of my fellow MKMM’ers. I have been less outside for my combo walk + sit.. I haven’t read the Master Key System every day. I haven’tu been able to follow the “5 small habits” routine. Stuck at home, working hard, I haven’t been out enough to be able to observe the virtues around be. I want to write a new DMP but haven’t done it yet. I follow the webcast only on replay as the live webcast are too lat for me (I do not want to start my week being tired). …

guilt

Mark & Davene are prompting us to dig into the work, each requirement being essential to reach the achievement of my DMP. Haanel writes:

Unless you di this you had better not to start at all, because modern psychology tell us that when we start something and do not complete it, or make a resolution and do not keep it, we are forming the habit of failure; absolute, ignominious failure.

Why do I feel angry ? Because I am not failing ! I am taking actions. Every day I give the best of myself. New contracts are signed without any specific action from my side. I have an excellent relationship with my husband and we are building our future together. We organize family outings. I am about to open a new online store. I am happy and celebrate each success.

She's reached the end of her rope!

Do I really need to feel guilty ? No of course ! I am on my way and I stay connected to the Master Key teachings. I am in a time of achievements which gives me less availibility for the course. It is essential to me to devote full attention to my family during the weekends. I do not spend time watching TV or on Facebook.

And most important:

I live this day as if it is my last. … The duties of today I fulfill today. Today I fondle my children … Today I embrace my man with sweet kisses … Today I lift up a friend in need … Today I give myself in sacrifice and work.

Og Mandino

 

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2016 Week 17 – My Hero’s Journey

Sunday’s webinar was very powerful. It inspired me a lot to write this blog post. Many thoughts are rushing in my mind. Pretty challenging to give them some written, sorted shape.

Until I became myself a parent I never really questioned my chilhood nor the relationship with my parents and my sister. Because we reap what we soil and because unstable balance happens to fall down one day, it happened about 3 years ago that our family completely fell into pieces.

Here started my Hero’s Journey ! The call to the adventure of quitting the known to cross the unknown and to reborn from its ashes.

The known is my place inside our family that was superfically and apparently comfortable. I was a model, always answering to what was expected from me, a brilliant sutdent, no crisis, no rebellion, the best friend of my sister, the loyal confidante of my mother, the ombudswoman to help all this tribe to understand each other, etc… I also was a silent observer. Observing my dad ruining his family with luxury hookers. Observing my mum working additional hours to provide for the lack of money. Observing them unable to communicate. And still being the good girl …

The call is: How long are you going to pretend yourself that this is ok for you ? How long are you going to keep quiet ? When are you going to blow up this secret that is consuming you ? When are you going to stop carrying a responsibility you should not carry ?

voyage-initiatique

 

The unknown is the uncomfort of

  • being the bad girl doing so much pain to her parents (not in my mind  but well in their mind !!!),
  • being excluded of the family nucleus realizing that now my sister has all her place,
  • taking the responsability to ruin our unharmonious family structure

Difficulties, inharmonies, and obstacles, indicate that we are either refusing to give out what we no longer need, …

Haanel, 15.3

It took some months until it reached an unbearable point where I had no choice than letting go the banana. My silence was unacceptable. My mind was clogged and my creativity was down.

I laid on paper all what I had to tell them led by an urging need to unveil the truth and make them face up to their responsibilities. I sent the letters …

We cannot obtain what we lack if we tenaciously cling to what we have. …

Haanel, 15.5

I am lacking authentic and balanced relationghips inside my family. Relationships built on truth and justice. Relationships based on love, unconditional love.  Relationships where everyone is at his legitimate place.

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I am free ! I am relieved ! I am ready to continue my Hero’s Journey. Here comes the time for my rebirth, for discovering my purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2016 Week 16 – Harmony within

Finding harmony within is my daily quest since 2015 when I started the Master Key Master Mind Alliance 6 months program for the first time. Reading Haanel, Og Mandino, Emerson. Following the teachings of Mark and Davene Januszewski. Fulfilling assignments aimaing at growing towards a higher level of personal achievment. … The program is dense and challenging but the promise is worth.

Convinced that following this course will guide me to the harmony within I am looking for I started working daily and dug into the teachings. The cement around my true self cracking a bit more every day I found out that there were things in my life I had to clean. I made a heavy cleaning …

And kept learning and working daily. 7 days mental diet: yes I made it. Reading the blueprint builder every day. Reading 3 times a day my Definite Major Purpose. Starring in the glass and saying that I love myself: yes done ! And still looking for harmony within … On the contrary the more I was digging in my inner self, the less I was feeling in harmony …

Came the point I thought I should share this experience with my guide as he may guide to the answer. We planned a live call. Jim is really kind-hearted. He listened the story of my journey. As I could have expected he pointed out the missing link: the daily sit.

zen-stones

My mind is all over the place: professional projects, personal achievements, children, husband, … Me sitting daily ? Are you kidding ? Such a waste of time. Of course I can do it. But really I have something else to do like going out and walking. This is not for me.

Then I realized the meanings I had behind sitting: a waste of time ! How then could I implement it in my daily life. Jim has been very smart and said “What if you combined walk and sit ?”. Ah ? Sounds interesting …

The day after I was impatient to try this new formula. I went outside, had a 10 minutes brisk walk uphill, reached the edge of a small canyon, and sat there for 15 minutes. Do you know what ? It was almost too short …

harmony

And I can tell immediately the good it brings to me. I am happy to add this new key to my daily quest. Oh it is 4 pm already ! So I leave you there as silence is waiting for me !

2016 Week 15 – Life is a masterpiece

Week 14 was a break week for me. A real break means time with NO COMPUTER ! This is why I did not write any blog post on week 14. At this time of the year this winter break fulfills my need to nurture my family, to enjoy the heat of the house, to take a deep rest.

After several days almost hibernating beginning week 15 was like starting an old steam locomotive … I thought my inspiration was at its lowest until I remembered a text I read and that caught my attention. I adapted it to my Master Key experience.

One day I was born. My parents are heroes. They bore my crys, my screams, my pains. They fed me, gave me love and a roof.

It must be said that during this incredible time span that is childhood there were not many things I could do like deciding to leave for the other end of the world to discover it.

It is not really the reality that counts the most during childhood but more what the imagination can make out of it.

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I was in a position to be a great architect of highly modern houses, to become an olympic level gymnast, to be a genius inventor making big discoveries.

Adults were not taking me seriously. I wanted to succeed.

I grew up and I became a teenager with ideals. From life discovering to love sorrows I was taught to hide my emotions and that my ideals were utopia.

I was convinced I could change the world. From my point of view hate, intolerance and poverty were unacceptable. There was something to do to fight against starvation in the world, to eradicate inequality.

I entered adulthood with my inside fire pretty much smothered by adult providence. But my dreams remained unbroken.

I am not an heroine who will save the world from human folly.

I am the heroine of the man I love.

I am an heroine when I convince only one person that every human being is unique.

I am an heroine when I please someone, when I get a smile.

I am an heroine when I recognize my mistakes and acknowledge the other person is right.

I am a heroine when I keep my promises.

I am the main actress of my own life. I want to share my joy, my optimism, my dreams.

I believe every human being is nature’s greatest miracle.

I believe every human being is an artist whose largest masterpiece is his life.

artist-pallette

2016 Week 12 – Yes, with gusto !

I spent week 12 of the Master Key experience in the haze, with a big cold. Though focusing on charging myself with love. My objective for every week was to start reading my DMP with gusto. For any reason the invitation of reading aloud with enthusiasm kept me uncomfortable …

Today after lunch I went for a walk with our dog. I started with my usual affirmations and gratitudes, silently in my head as usual. And then once I started aloud, with gusto and enthusiasm. Waow it feels completely differently. I felt I was talking to the world and affirming my burnest desires, affirming who I am, sending my gratitudes to the outside world.

YES I made it and I am very happy to reach this objective. Today I am moved to praise and send my enthusiasm outside then I shout from the gardens among the olive trees and the vineyards.

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2016 Week 11 – Today I begin a new … DMP

Yesterday morning I received in my email box an ad about a one week jouney at the Red Sea to go swimming with the dolphins. It was sent by a beautiful person I know from Belgium. The proposal is to spend a week on a boat, with other families and taking time to swim, read, draw, play, and just be together.

dolphins

I immediately felt this is something I would deeply love to experience with my family. As minutes went by I felt that I need to live something exceptional now, not in some years from now. I want to live something that is not useful, something that may seem superfluous. It does not fit my life project.

It is something meant only for pleasure !

I love my DMP. I love the life I draw in my DMP and I deeply feel this is the life I desire. But the delay is too long in order for me to see the results of my deep commitment to the teachings of the MKMMA. I can even feel some boredom while reading my DMP every day. And this is not what I want ! I want to feel fire, excitement, enthusiasm, motivation to keep growing and making my desire come true.

A few hours later I booked the trip for our family. It is a 6000€ budget ! First lesson applies: do not live by the methods; live by intention ! No idea where the money will come from !

“What things soever ye desire, when you pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them”

Mark 11:24

“We are first to believe that our desire has already been fulfilled, its accomplishment will then follow. […]making use of the creative power of thought by impressing on the Universal subjective mind, the particuliar thing which we desire as an already existing fact.”

Charles F. Haanel 11:18

As knowledge does not apply itself I have a good case to work on ! And I feel so enthusiast, so excited, so thrilled by this new purpose.

I am about to write a special DMP specifically dedicated to this burning desire. While I was a child, with my parents, no fun in life: we were working, studying and cleaning. I do not wish such a life for my family. I want fun, excitement, joy, exceptional experiences.

Today I do not have an ounce of doubt that this is going to happen. I feel it deep in my heart, deep in my mind. The love for my family is so huge that THIS is simply and easily going to happen. Effortlessly !

snorkeling