What Davene said in the webcast on Sunday really helped me as she put words on what I felt: the slow death of my old self, the addiction to old patterns, … All the energy I am giving for the change and still reactions are coming out I just hate. It is uncomfortable and painful. Sometimes I feel like I do not know where I am going to. Who is the new me ?
And my mental diet … it is just a constant restart. I realized yesterday that I have unsolved situations in my life that are entertaining a negative predominant mental attitude. I decided then to conduct action to solve the major bad situation. Today I took action, strong action aiming at cleaning my environment. And I visualize a positive outcome. And I position myself in the way that there is nothing to argue about, I am in my total rights.
I wish my envirnoment to be clean all the time and I take the habit to clear all situations any time.
I am very glad and proud, my poster is finalized !!!
Yes it took me a while but I wanted it beautiful and in close harmony with my deepest and earnest desires. I wanted it to reflect the beauty I wish for my life everyday.
Here it is …
For those last days I have been feeling like the cocoon of a butterfly. The caterpillar turns into a cocoon which after a few days gives birth to a butterfly. Inside the cocoon the caterpillar is not any more and is replaced by a kind of mucus. My external side always look the same but I feel “mucus” inside …
It is not that I am nourishing negative thoughts inside it is just that I feel like nausea inside. I would not say that I feel bad; I do not feel joyful or in good mood, I do not feel in a dynamic energy like the previous weeks. Am I at a turn of the process ? A point where things seem to get worse before the magnificence emerge from the shadows ?
I really look forward being the butterfly going outside of its cocoon, discovering itself unique and such a beauty of the nature.
I am living far away from Paris and I haven’t been personnally impacted by the attacks of last Friday night. But for 2 days now I am feeling that the atmosphere, the energy in the air is very heavy. Millions of people are thinking and talking about these events, how could it be otherwise …
I can read lots of love and peace messages but nevertheless the vibe is made of sadness, anger, despair, fear. Yesterday and this morning in our house was not as usual. I believe we do not have to tell young children about the madness of what happened: they just know and feel.
So following the mental diet in these circumstances is pretty challenging … I can turn away from the news, what I do, but I am very sensitive to what’s in the air. Anyway I keep focusing on love, harmony and peace.
Following our argument of tuesday morning, we had different talks yesterday. I could not imagine that bringing into our family the idea of forgiveness could burst things this way. This is really something he can not commit to. Does not see the point, does not believe this is necessary to move forward in the realization of our life project.
Then now I have a key question: is it possible just being me working mentally on the realization of a common dream if he does not believe in the process ? Is there any risk his attitude would hinder the achievment of our goals ?
I send my gratitude to Nancy, Sandra and Eleanor who answered my question in the Alliance section.
And if I move alone on this path I feel like being part of a two-tier system. I am spontaneous; it is not natural to me not being able to share my learnings, my thoughts, …
I am very decided to grow on positiveness and I look forward shining positiveness around me.
I am not used to share this kind of event but I feel it as an experience linked to the MKMMA then I am ok to write a post and tell this story.
We do not argue very often but for any reason it had to happen today …
I watched the webinar replay this morning and I was deeply touched by the proposition of forgiving everyone. This is chasing me … I had yesterday a personal session with a woman and she always led me to the same conclusion: there is only one way, the one of forgiving. Yes I have heard this for the last months a couple of times but this time the lenght of time seems to shorten. It makes me feel this has to happen now. Hurry up ! Do it and then move on.
So during breakfast I shared this with my husband and this is where everything went wrong. “You are doing personal development for a while now and things are going slow. This forgiving process is going to take a long time. Look how you react, how you brood thoughts. And your sister hurt you so much; I will never forgive her. How do you know this is the key to success ?”
Waow how can I move forward and reach my vision if my partner in life is setting limiting beliefs in the way ? Why is he resisting and not willing to let it go and accept this as the next step towards our dream ? What is the cost for him ?
“I make a solemn oath to myself that nothing will retard my new life’s growth”
Here is the sentence I took from scroll I to the beginning of scroll II. It is the one that poped up in my mind while I was down in my disillusion. It took me the time to focus my thoughts and decide that no external force would see me away from the path I decide to follow. I realised how things were premature and that I did not get the chance to build the proper foundations.
So what is my path ? For now it is to make a break, start back again and dig into the fundamentals. I could not expect from myself to be this extrovert person I have never been. I spent years “sailing” on my own and now in once I should get in contact with the whole world … Thanks Andrew my dear guide for guiding me on this way: get in contacts with people, simply, with love, without any business objective, just for the sake of getting in touch and learning about other people’s life.
Waow I feel much better, reliefed, and in accordance with who I am. I do not like when things are rushed, I do not like what is superficial, I do not like to feel pressure. I like to be autonomous, to be successful, to be true.