End of week 11 I took the decision to come back on the live webcast. I was very glad I followed last week webinar as the exercise of staying 50 minutes in front of the mirror repeating 1 DMP sentence was so powerful. Not sure I would have done it if I had followed the replay ! I feel my commitment level increased.
As I am planning to take some days off I spent week 12 achieving different tasks for my professional activities and be well up to date. The company from which I am earning most of my revenue is restructuring. As I am working freelance for them, not physically present (they are in Belgium I am in France), I need to raise my voice in order to remain informed and able to follow the evolution. Therefore I spent most of my energy remaining positive and visualizing them reorganizing in the way it will highly improve the content of the service I am delivering to them, adding more value to my job, making it a valuable tool to reach their objectives.
I am not going to write excuses for being late in publishing my week 12 post. So is it ! I am fully responsible for what is happening in my life. I know I did my best. I keep struggling with juggling with work, family and MKMMA. I feel being a bottle of 1 liter tried to be filled with 2 liters ! I keep my faith and I know I will make it. I keep persisting and I succeed.
Week 10 has been pretty challenging for me. 5 days business trip and 4 days deep in my bed, sick as I heven’t been for a long time have kept me a bit away from my daily routine.
I am pretty behind in different areas ! I started week 11 with the strong conviction that I am going to catch up in all of them. Bits of old blueprint are gone: before I would have felt terribly overwhelmed and stressed. Today I feel self-confident, peaceful and quiet. YES this is a big jump in my new reality !
I watched the week 11 webcast this morning. And right now I feel the need to write down the following.
I am not the one who has done all the proposed exercices. I am not the one visiting the Alliance and posting messages. Though I feel deeply committed. Here comes another part of my blueprint away. I do not judge myself badly about that. Nor do I feel guilty.
Every day I give the best of myself. Every day I work hard in different areas. Every day I set new actions in motion maybe not the ones on my index card but actions leading me to a better I, to feel better, to improve my life and my being. It is about sharply pursuing my claim for 1400€ a person owes me for a long time as a commission for my work. It is about following a mediation process with my parents and remaining confindent about the outcome (that is very challenging !). It is about remaining quiet and compassionate with my young daughters, looking for being a better mum every day. …
I started a new business about 3 months ago. We recently chosed to homeschool our daughters. I am scrambling to maintain my position in the company providing me most of my revenue. I am covering on my own 95% of our financial needs.
YES I am doing good, striving for the best and I am going the right way. I want to be gentle and indulgent with myself and recognize the daily improvements, the daily achievements. It has no sense to me to follow the MKMMA, such a high-level program, and start developing anxiety, dissatisfaction and pressure. I deeply believe that the beautiful work I have done so far is growing in me every day.
I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy !