This week Master Key lesson touches deeply my major actual concern. My mind is clogged by thoughts related to a toxic relationship I cannot get rid of. For a few months now I know that I have to cut this relationship but I haven’t found the way to do it.
When this mental house-cleaning process has been completed, the material which is left will be suitable for the making of the kind of ideals or mental images which we desire to realize.
My thoughts keep turning aroung this situation over and over, wearying me. One of my personal pivotal need is “recognition of my creative expression”. To develop my creative expression I need my mind to be 100% focused on my projects. I need all my capacity to create, to develop, to unfold my definite major purpose.
I discover my world within has been impressed by despondent, negative, doubtful material, I have inherited from this toxic relationship.
Today I begin a new life
And I choose to proceed to my mental house-cleaning as from today. I choose to reconnect with my own creative power. I consciuously make the choice regardless of any other person interest but mine.
And I make a solemn oath to myself that nothing retards my new life’s growth.
The week is ending and it is time to write my blog post before shutting down the computer for the entire weekend. It is habit, a GOOD habit ;c)) I have not to turn on the computer during the weekend. The weekend is sacred time spent with my family but also time I need to achieve home services (not to say chores ;c))
At the end of this week I feel some frustration. I have been half sick all week and I have some delay in my work and other things I wanted to finalize. Also I do not have much inspiration for this article. My eyes are burning in front of the computer, my head is hurting, my throat is soar, … Would be much better in my bed ! But I made a promise and I always keep my promises: each week I write a blog post related to my MKMMA experience. As I do not want to form the habit of failure I decide to write down something instead of nothing even if my inspiration is not at its highest.
In the process of writing my Definite Major Purpose (DMP) I describe my life as I deeply desire it. I see myself in the future and describe where and how I live. While writing I visualize myself in a few years from now. Emotions and deep feelings arise. I feel well being, pride, abundance, joy and happiness.
During the first weeks of the Master Key Master Mind Alliance we all focus on writing down our DMP. We submit our DMP to our guide and communicate closely with him. Depending on his consderations we revisit our last version and submit a new one.
I find my DMP is really close to my earnest desire. I have worked on it several times already. I am really happy with the last version. Though there is that question coming back each time: Consider what you will give up to have what you have described here. What will you sacrifice ?
And the answer is ??? Blank !
I find my life pretty clean meaning no watching TV, no movie, no Facebook, no cell phone, very healthy food, … I work hard to achive my goals. The work I do is not quite a passion it is a mean to reach my purpose in life. I do personal development. I am a MKMMA student.
So what is missing ? What can I give away ? I sacrifice time with my family already.
I asked my guide some help to clarify this point. He asked me “If this is what you truly desire, if this is what you really really want, why is it that you don’t already have it ?”
Well after 30 years of living as was expected from me it takes time to first define my burning desire and then put everything in place in order to make it happen. So I still do not have it simply because it is very recently (about 2 years from now) that I realized that the life that was designed for me does not suit me.
I think I give a lot of time of work to crack the cement covering the Buddha. I sent my revised DMP and keep working.
MKMMA week 2 has been really challenging for me. By analyzing the the facts a posteriori I can’t deny it was just a logical sequence …
The situation with my colleagues got worse. Nothing obvious in the concrete. Then comes the question: where is the boundary between my intuition, my feelings, and the beliefs I develop, the stories I tell to myself ?
I had the strong intuition that something was happening, something I was not informed about. Hour after hour there were signs, facts, leading me to misunderstanding. And then on tuesday it all collapsed ! (There is no need to tell all the details).
I felt my world without was a disaster. And considering Haanel’s quote:
The world without is a reflection of the world wihtin.
I was wondering what in my world within was in such a state of disharmony …
Well I got the answer ! My thoughts regarding my colleagues were quite negative. I was not in accordance with their way of acting. I was not feeling confident with them. I was keeping my distance. I was thinking that working further with them would be difficult for me. I was struggling as well with the offer that I received strongly feeling that it was not aligned with my definite purpose in life. Then BAM: the decision fell and I was simply fired !
What a huge learning this week ! How can I create an harmonious world without with such a disturbed world within ? The answer: There is no way !
Nice end to the story: today I feel relieved and confident that actually my inner voice is a trusted guide.