2016 Week 17 – My Hero’s Journey

Sunday’s webinar was very powerful. It inspired me a lot to write this blog post. Many thoughts are rushing in my mind. Pretty challenging to give them some written, sorted shape.

Until I became myself a parent I never really questioned my chilhood nor the relationship with my parents and my sister. Because we reap what we soil and because unstable balance happens to fall down one day, it happened about 3 years ago that our family completely fell into pieces.

Here started my Hero’s Journey ! The call to the adventure of quitting the known to cross the unknown and to reborn from its ashes.

The known is my place inside our family that was superfically and apparently comfortable. I was a model, always answering to what was expected from me, a brilliant sutdent, no crisis, no rebellion, the best friend of my sister, the loyal confidante of my mother, the ombudswoman to help all this tribe to understand each other, etc… I also was a silent observer. Observing my dad ruining his family with luxury hookers. Observing my mum working additional hours to provide for the lack of money. Observing them unable to communicate. And still being the good girl …

The call is: How long are you going to pretend yourself that this is ok for you ? How long are you going to keep quiet ? When are you going to blow up this secret that is consuming you ? When are you going to stop carrying a responsibility you should not carry ?

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The unknown is the uncomfort of

  • being the bad girl doing so much pain to her parents (not in my mind  but well in their mind !!!),
  • being excluded of the family nucleus realizing that now my sister has all her place,
  • taking the responsability to ruin our unharmonious family structure

Difficulties, inharmonies, and obstacles, indicate that we are either refusing to give out what we no longer need, …

Haanel, 15.3

It took some months until it reached an unbearable point where I had no choice than letting go the banana. My silence was unacceptable. My mind was clogged and my creativity was down.

I laid on paper all what I had to tell them led by an urging need to unveil the truth and make them face up to their responsibilities. I sent the letters …

We cannot obtain what we lack if we tenaciously cling to what we have. …

Haanel, 15.5

I am lacking authentic and balanced relationghips inside my family. Relationships built on truth and justice. Relationships based on love, unconditional love.  Relationships where everyone is at his legitimate place.

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I am free ! I am relieved ! I am ready to continue my Hero’s Journey. Here comes the time for my rebirth, for discovering my purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2016 Week 16 – Harmony within

Finding harmony within is my daily quest since 2015 when I started the Master Key Master Mind Alliance 6 months program for the first time. Reading Haanel, Og Mandino, Emerson. Following the teachings of Mark and Davene Januszewski. Fulfilling assignments aimaing at growing towards a higher level of personal achievment. … The program is dense and challenging but the promise is worth.

Convinced that following this course will guide me to the harmony within I am looking for I started working daily and dug into the teachings. The cement around my true self cracking a bit more every day I found out that there were things in my life I had to clean. I made a heavy cleaning …

And kept learning and working daily. 7 days mental diet: yes I made it. Reading the blueprint builder every day. Reading 3 times a day my Definite Major Purpose. Starring in the glass and saying that I love myself: yes done ! And still looking for harmony within … On the contrary the more I was digging in my inner self, the less I was feeling in harmony …

Came the point I thought I should share this experience with my guide as he may guide to the answer. We planned a live call. Jim is really kind-hearted. He listened the story of my journey. As I could have expected he pointed out the missing link: the daily sit.

zen-stones

My mind is all over the place: professional projects, personal achievements, children, husband, … Me sitting daily ? Are you kidding ? Such a waste of time. Of course I can do it. But really I have something else to do like going out and walking. This is not for me.

Then I realized the meanings I had behind sitting: a waste of time ! How then could I implement it in my daily life. Jim has been very smart and said “What if you combined walk and sit ?”. Ah ? Sounds interesting …

The day after I was impatient to try this new formula. I went outside, had a 10 minutes brisk walk uphill, reached the edge of a small canyon, and sat there for 15 minutes. Do you know what ? It was almost too short …

harmony

And I can tell immediately the good it brings to me. I am happy to add this new key to my daily quest. Oh it is 4 pm already ! So I leave you there as silence is waiting for me !

2016 Week 15 – Life is a masterpiece

Week 14 was a break week for me. A real break means time with NO COMPUTER ! This is why I did not write any blog post on week 14. At this time of the year this winter break fulfills my need to nurture my family, to enjoy the heat of the house, to take a deep rest.

After several days almost hibernating beginning week 15 was like starting an old steam locomotive … I thought my inspiration was at its lowest until I remembered a text I read and that caught my attention. I adapted it to my Master Key experience.

One day I was born. My parents are heroes. They bore my crys, my screams, my pains. They fed me, gave me love and a roof.

It must be said that during this incredible time span that is childhood there were not many things I could do like deciding to leave for the other end of the world to discover it.

It is not really the reality that counts the most during childhood but more what the imagination can make out of it.

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I was in a position to be a great architect of highly modern houses, to become an olympic level gymnast, to be a genius inventor making big discoveries.

Adults were not taking me seriously. I wanted to succeed.

I grew up and I became a teenager with ideals. From life discovering to love sorrows I was taught to hide my emotions and that my ideals were utopia.

I was convinced I could change the world. From my point of view hate, intolerance and poverty were unacceptable. There was something to do to fight against starvation in the world, to eradicate inequality.

I entered adulthood with my inside fire pretty much smothered by adult providence. But my dreams remained unbroken.

I am not an heroine who will save the world from human folly.

I am the heroine of the man I love.

I am an heroine when I convince only one person that every human being is unique.

I am an heroine when I please someone, when I get a smile.

I am an heroine when I recognize my mistakes and acknowledge the other person is right.

I am a heroine when I keep my promises.

I am the main actress of my own life. I want to share my joy, my optimism, my dreams.

I believe every human being is nature’s greatest miracle.

I believe every human being is an artist whose largest masterpiece is his life.

artist-pallette